Job 13:15 "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."

I felt a little like Job this last week. Losing my sister really was a shock. She was the only family member I had left from when I was young. My parents are both gone. I am so thankful for my husband, who really stepped up this last week, and carried so much of the weight for me..and I am thankful for my son, and my grandson..but the family that I grew up with are all gone. What makes it even harder is that I am not convinced that my sister knew Christ as her Savior. I have never really lost anyone close to me that I wasn't sure about their salvation. But God is sooooo good.. In the days that followed her death this last week, His presence became so apparent. I could never begin to explain the many ways that I can look back over the last week, and see God's hand in my life. The morning that I got the call that Beverly had passed away, two dear friends called me moments later..two people that I love as much as I loved my own sister..and I don't hear much from either of them..but that day, they called. Both offered words of comfort and reassurance. I knew that both friends had been prompted by the Holy Spirit to call me that day. God's presence was there. When I cried out to Him that I felt like an orphan, He reminded me that He takes care of the orphans and the widows.
I struggled with the fact that I don't know about my sister's salvation...but God has begun to speak to my heart. He is sovereign.. there are things..probably many things..that I wont understand this side of Heaven. ..but no matter what has taken place in my life, I can trust Him. He spoke to me about the thief on the cross next to Jesus..who asked Christ to remember him..from the world's standpoint, that man was considered a no account law breaker..but Jesus saw his heart, and told him that he would certainly be with him in paradise. I guess none of us really know the heart of a loved one..not the way our Savior does. I might look at the life of my sister the same way the world looked at that thief..but Christ knew him in a much more personal way. I pray that He knew my sister in that same way. I am so very greatful for the peace that He has instilled in my heart this last week..and for the events which took place one particular evening, a few days after my sister's death. Ray and I were staying in a hotel, and after the end of a long day, God began to speak to my heart to be still. I could feel the emotions rising up in my spirit..I didn't want to be still. I wanted to stay busy. I didn't want to think about the events of that day...but God was speaking very clearly to me..I began to argue with Him..that I didn't want to face the pain..it was just too much for me to handle...and then the Lord spoke to me that if I would trust Him, He would take me through the pain, and be with me every step of the way.. but if I didn't allow Him to do so, I would never know the healing, and the Healer...in the way in which He wanted to show Himself to me.
Some of you have faced difficult days as well. Some of you have suffered loss in your life that has been indescribably painful. I would never try to minimize that pain..neither would Jesus. I believe He would speak to you as He did to me.."Be still. Know that I AM God"..I believe that He would tell you that He sees into your situation, what you cannot see..He knows what you cannot know..He works in ways that you cannot understand..I believe that He would want you to begin to experience not only healing in your life..but that you might come to know the Healer in an even deeper way. In the last few days, He has begun the healing process in me. It is a process. It will take time. There are waves of grief that come when I least expect them..but He has helped me to know Him in a deeper way..and I can honestly say along with Job..Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.